


Learning Words (And Customs)

by Lumelle



Series: Garden in the Mountain [6]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Bilbo is So Done, Humor, Kid Fic, M/M, Superstition, Worried Dwarves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-06-01 08:22:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6510319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lumelle/pseuds/Lumelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A child's first word is definitely a matter for celebration -- even if one parent isn't around to hear it. Bilbo certainly is delighted to hear that little "Papa" for the first time while Thorin is visiting Iron Hills. Now, if only he could share it with others without all the dwarves starting to act quite oddly indeed...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Learning Words (And Customs)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MagicRedhead](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicRedhead/gifts).



> Written in response to a request by [MagicRedhead](http://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicRedhead) after leaving the 1201st comment on [Growing Dwarves (And Kingdoms)](archiveofourown.org/works/3163292). (There was some confusion on who got the 1,200th, so I ended up giving out two requests.)
> 
> I'm so, so sorry this one took forever! I had trouble making the request fit this 'verse, and in the end I had to modify it quite a bit. I hope you'll enjoy it, though!
> 
>  **Please note** that this fic contains minor spoilers for the main fic -- so you may want to hold off if you don't want to know the gender and name of Thorin and Bilbo's first child.

Sometimes, a small, petty part of Bilbo almost thought Thorin hadn't cut Iron Hills away from Erebor.

Not that Dáin hadn't deserved it, considering the battle would have probably ended very differently without his dwarves, and really it wasn't like Thorin could actually rule Iron Hills as well, so it didn't make much of a difference. However, the one thing where it did matter was that, now that both of them were kings, Thorin could not expect Dáin to always come to him. Sometimes, he had to be the one going to Iron Hills when negotiations were to be had, and for all that Iron Hills was not very far from Erebor, certainly not with a good pony and a known trail, between travel time and negotiations and all the associated ceremony Thorin would still be gone several weeks.

Thorin had offered to take Bilbo with him, of course, had assured him that Dáin would very much like to see him again. However, someone had to stay behind, and while Fíli was learning fast and Balin and Dís were obviously more than capable of running things there were still some things where only the king's seal would suffice. Even Fíli had no right to place that on documents, and it was better not to leave such things waiting until Thorin got back and actually had the time to attend to everything. Besides, Tammi was quite young still, and even the relatively short journey would have been quite difficult with a babe to tend to.

So, Thorin had said his goodbyes and kissed both Bilbo and Tammi, and then ridden off to Iron Hills with Dwalin and a selection of guards at his side. It had been suggested that he might take Tauriel and Kíli, so the younger prince could have a feel for diplomatic relations beyond Dale, but after some consideration they had decided that bringing an elf along on their first diplomatic trip to Iron Hills might have been too much for some of the more traditional nobles in Dáin's court. Of course, Kíli was very much of the opinion that this was all the more reason to do so, which just proved he still had a lot to learn. If you wanted to get rid of someone, killing them was the last thing you wanted to do; destroying their reputation had much less of a chance of repercussions and had the side benefit of retroactively discrediting anything they had done or said before.

Of course, stating this over family dinner might have been a bad move, considering how much staring and choking it had caused. Even Dís, who really should have known better, had wandered aloud at how she had thought his regular chats with Nori were simply for tea and crumpets. Please. Every hobbit knew that good tea and crumpets were the very foundation of what passed for politics in the Shire. Nobody listened to the opinion of a poor host, after all.

But anyway, Kíli had stayed, and Thorin had gone, and Bilbo found himself the sole parent of a baby for the next few weeks. Which really wasn't much of a cause to complain, certainly not when so many of the people around him had raised children on their own, but it did mean he was quite busy. Tammi could get around very fast for someone who was still just trying to figure out the fine art of walking, and even just in the royal apartments there were a thousand different ways for a little fauntling to get into trouble. Bilbo already thought with horror about the day she figured out how to get into the family baths on her own. Hobbits and water didn't mix well, and he doubted it would be any different for half-hobbits.

For all the worry and fuss she caused him, though, sometimes Tammi was the only thing that could make him smile after a long day. She proved this once again by giving him her most charming smile as he was preparing her for bed, wiggling her little toes that everyone else seemed utterly determined to cover up with various kinds of socks and booties. Bilbo had decided to relent on that particular argument, figuring that she would soon enough get rid of her footwear if she didn't want to wear any, but for bedtime he saw absolutely no reason to make her wear anything on her feet when her little toes would be kept quite warm by the covers.

"Hush, princess, it's time to go to sleep." Bilbo smiled, reaching down to pat her hair. Her little curls were not quite as dark as Thorin's hair, closer to Kíli's wild mane which looked dark brown half the time and black the other half, and resembled nothing as much as the cap of an acorn. "Papa will tell you a bedtime story, all right?"

Tammi giggled, reaching her little hands toward him. "Papa!"

"Yes, that's right, I'll —" Bilbo faltered. He'd heard wrong, hadn't he? It had just been her usual babbling, that was all. "Sweetie? Can you say papa?"

"Papa!" Tammi repeated, loud and clear, and giggled again.

"Oh, my sweet, smart girl!" Bilbo couldn't help but immediately sweep her up into his arms, never mind bedtime. "Your Adad will be so proud to hear you've started to speak! And so will your aunt and cousins, when I tell them first thing tomorrow!"

Oh, Thorin was going to be beside himself when he found out he'd missed her first word. Perhaps it would make him try and avoid being away for quite so long too soon.

Really, Bilbo was not seeing the downside.

*

"Well, good morning there." Dís looked as put together as ever despite the fact that it was still quite early in the morning. Of course, Tammi didn't care about such unimportant facts as the time of the day, squealing and reaching out her arms towards her favourite aunt. "And how are we on this fine day?"

"Oh, you know, the usual." Bilbo chuckled, adjusting Tammi in the sling Dori had made for him to carry her. The one good thing about dwarves' insistence on bringing their children to work with them was that they also knew exactly how to keep said children safe while out and about. Tammi was getting quite big for the sling already, really, certainly so for Bilbo, but then it wasn't like he had Thorin here to pass her on to. Not yet. "She actually didn't wake up in the middle of the night, so instead she decided to wake me up even earlier than usual. I swear, she must know that I'm tired and tries to make me even more so." Even so, he pressed a fond kiss to her soft little curls.

"Oh, don't I know that." Dís shook her head with a rueful smile. "I don't think Kíli slept through a single night until he was three, and even after that it took him ages to settle on a regular schedule, so really, you're getting away rather easily. Maybe it's the hobbit blood in her?"

"Maybe. I can't say I really know how hobbit babes develop. I was an only child, after all, and while I did have younger cousins I never really paid attention to the closer details. Maybe I should write to some of my relatives and ask them to pass on some tips on what I might expect."

"You know, that's not a bad idea at all." Dís chuckled. "Poor Thorin always gets so out of sorts whenever she does something faster or earlier than the lads did. But of course she would, since you hobbits mature faster."

"And I'm sure I would be worrying myself sick if I knew anything more about hobbit babes, given that I'm sure she develops somewhat slower than is typical of my race." Bilbo shook his head. "We'll have a headache ahead of ourselves, trying to figure out when she can be considered of age. Certainly we can't use the usual guidelines for either race, if she continues to develop somewhere between the two."

"I would say we only need to see how she matures, but looking at my dear sons I'm not sure that's a benchmark we want to set at all. Mahal knows there are days when I wonder how any law could consider them adults, even though they are grown dwarves with spouses by now."

"Now, now." Bilbo chuckled. "They are certainly more mature than they were at the beginning of the Quest."

"That does not exactly fill me with confidence." Dís was smiling, though, so clearly she wasn't too serious in her criticism of her sons. She leaned closer, then, smiling at Tammi. "And as for you, little lady, I'm sure you won't cause as much worry for your Adad and Papa, will you? Here's hoping you have some calm hobbit blood in you instead of my brother's rashness."

Tammi giggled, bouncing a bit in her sling. "Papa!" she announced.

Dís immediately stood up straight, staring at her. "Did she just…"

"Ah, yes, I believe so." Bilbo chuckled. "She rather surprised me, too, last night. She's said it several times now, so I don't think it's just a coincidence."

"Well! That is, ah, that is certainly advanced for her age." For some reason Dís suddenly seemed very prim and proper, the way she did when welcoming important guests she wasn't terribly fond of. "Now, you must excuse me. I just realised I'm very nearly late for an important meeting, I really shouldn't keep them waiting any longer."

"Right." Bilbo blinked. It really wasn't like Dís to be late for anything, but he supposed such things did happen, especially when they were all so very busy. "I suppose I will see you in the evening, then?"

"Indeed." Dís gave a quick nod, then walked away, leaving a very confused Bilbo looking after her.

Well. He supposed it was about time to get started with the day, then. Even if his dwarves were being quite strange.

*

Bilbo was starting to be rather sick of this.

At first he had thought it was just a coincidence that Dís would suddenly remember somewhere she absolutely had to be, even though Bilbo himself could recall no talk of any such objectives. Then, however, the same pattern started to repeat throughout the day. He would meet one of the Company, they would be nice and friendly, and then suddenly they got all spooked and found some excuse to leave or at least stay away. Bofur actually claimed he could absolutely not come near, his hands were so frightfully dirty and he would hate to ruin Bilbo's nice clothes, even though Bilbo couldn't see a speck of dirt on him, and you'd think a hobbit would know about cleanliness.

It wasn't until the third dwarf — Kíli, who all but ran down the corridor in the opposite direction — that Bilbo actually managed to put together cause and consequence. Every dwarf he spoke to got suddenly worried the moment he mentioned Tammi's new word, or she chose to demonstrate her newfound skill by actually saying the word. This was… well, it was somewhat better than the idea of the dwarves simply getting spooked for no reason whatsoever, but it was also somewhat worrisome. Was there something wrong with it? She probably was speaking sooner than a dwarf babe would, thanks to her mixed blood, but certainly that would be cause for surprise at best, not shock and what seemed an awful lot like fear. Was there some kind of a faux pas here that Bilbo wasn't aware of? Had he done something wrong by not teaching her a particular word first, perhaps? If that was the case, he rather wished someone would have mentioned it earlier, or at least bothered to explain it now rather than running away like this. It was starting to distress Tammi, who was quite fond of all her numerous aunts and uncles.

As the day went on, he didn't even get the chance to tell them about her learning to speak. Members of the Company simply avoided him, so the matter never had the chance to come up. At first he didn't pay attention to it, simply thinking it might be a coincidence; after all, it wasn't like he always ran into everyone as he went about his daily routine. Then, however, he stopped by the kitchens, only to find that Bombur was nowhere to be seen. After a quick glance around and a careful nod from one of the kitchen hands, Bilbo found the large dwarf covering in one of the enormous pantries. As he saw Bilbo coming in, Bombur backed away even further, but didn't say anything.

Well. In this case, Bilbo felt entirely allowed to swipe one of the apples piled on one of the shelves and marching away. Bombur didn't even try to stop him, and, really. Why was everyone acting like his sweet baby daughter was a plague-ridden rat all of a sudden? It was really quite hurtful.

By the time he got his explanation, it was almost dinner time. Done with his royal duties for the day, Bilbo was sitting in the common room of the royal apartments, reading a book while watching Tammi playing on the floor. Ori wandered in, smiling as he saw Bilbo and Tammi there, and oh, that was a relief. At last someone wasn't rushing off right away!

"Good evening, Ori." Bilbo smiled at the young dwarf. "How has your day been?"

"Oh, the usual." Ori chuckled. "I've been drowning so deep in paperwork, I've barely seen anyone all day. I'm fairly sure Fíli stopped by at some point, but I only know that because someone had brought me food."

"A very good feature in a husband, that, bringing you food while you work." Bilbo nodded. "But now you're free, then?"

"Until there is more work to be done." Ori's lips twitched as he crouched down in front of Tammi. "Now if I could just get Fíli to take care of his own papers."

"Well, to be fair, that would probably take a lot more time than simply having you do it for him. And since you are his spouse, all you really need him for is his signature every now and then." Oh, Bilbo knew very well by now what a consort could do, especially now that Thorin had essentially left him in charge. Which meant more that the usual duties of the king were split between Bilbo and Fíli, who still had their own work to worry about. "I think we'll all be quite relieved when Thorin gets back and does his share of the work."

"I don't think it would be so difficult if we didn't have the couple of big projects going on right now. It's not usually this busy for any of us." Ori sighed. "It's not a good time for Thorin to be away, but I think we can all manage. Can't we, my little princess?" He grinned at Tammi, who looked curiously up at him from her toy. Bilbo still wasn't entirely certain about the wisdom of giving a babe a toy sword, even wooden and wrapped in leather, but Tammi seemed to enjoy gnawing on it and he didn't have the heart to take it away from her.

"Oh, she doesn't seem to miss him at all now. Maybe she'll just forget about him entirely." Not that Bilbo believed that would happen — he certainly didn't wish for it! — but there was a peevish little part of him that wanted to tease Thorin even though he wasn't even there to be teased. "Maybe that's why she decided to learn to say Papa first, right, darling?"

"Papa!" Tammi declared as though in agreement.

The effect of the word was immediate. "I'm sorry!" Ori was actually holding his hands up as though to show just how far he was from Tammi, scampering backwards as though afraid. "I didn't touch her, I swear!"

"Ori, please, calm down." Bilbo frowned. "What is it with all of you lately? You are all acting like Tammi's some bad omen or something." Which was, frankly, starting to be a little hurtful. There was absolutely nothing wrong with his little princess, thank you, and he'd rather prefer for everyone to stop acting like it.

"It's not her that's bad luck! I just don't want to bring her any." At least Ori stopped backing away, giving Bilbo a quizzical look. "You really don't know why?"

"I'm afraid not, no." Bilbo shook his head. "Everyone's acting like normal, and then the moment Tammi says her new word, or I mention it to anyone, you run away like she's a wild orcling."

"But Thorin isn't here." And that was supposed to explain something, apparently? "If a child says their first word and anyone but their parents hold them before both parents have heard it, that's awful bad luck! It's like saying you don't want their parents to hear them speak!"

"Really?" Well. That at least explained why the dwarves were all so panicked. "So everyone's avoiding her because Thorin hasn't heard her speak yet?"

"That's it, I think." Ori nodded vigorously. "Nori used to joke that our mother came to dislike Dori's father so much, when Dori finally learnt to speak she made all the neighbours hold him so his father would never return. Well, I'm not sure how much of that was a joke, really, but whether it happened or not, Nori couldn't have possibly seen it."

"That's… oddly sweet, I guess. Everyone avoiding Tammi, that is, not what your mother did, though I do not blame her for that." Bilbo sighed. "So what you're saying is, nobody will help me with her until Thorin is here?"

"Well, we can help you with her, of course! I'd be happy to help feed her if you're holding her, or rock the cradle or whatever you need. Just… not hold her, if that's all right with you."

"Right." Bilbo shook his head. "We hobbits have no such beliefs, but I won't ask you to do anything you believe would be bad luck. If you could help in whatever way you feel comfortable with, though, that would be a huge relief. I'm sure Tauriel will help me if there's an emergency or something, but I don't want to rely on her all the time."

"Of course. You know I'm happy to help where I can." Ori smiled. "Especially if it involves our little princess."

Bilbo laughed. "Look out. I'll soon make you tend the garden, since I can't get anything done with constantly trying to keep her from eating all kind of awful things and nobody will hold her for me."

"Well, maybe I want to help you with the garden."

"Maybe that's not a bad idea. I could certainly teach you some of the basics." Certainly, Ori wasn't too keen on most things that came from gardens, but he liked Tammi well enough, didn't he? "You think I could convince Fíli to help out there, too?"

"You know," Ori's smile grew a bit wider as he finally dared approach Tammi enough to ruffle her curls, "I think I can persuade him to lend a hand."

Tammi giggled in agreement, and really, it wasn't like one could ask for a better endorsement.

*

By the time Thorin came back, Bilbo was just about ready to flee the mountain and never turn back.

Okay, that was a lie. He knew he would be back in a couple of days at most; it wasn't like he could just leave all his family and friends behind. However, after so long of juggling his duties and a baby all alone, even with Ori and Fíli helping him with the garden, he was absolutely exhausted, and damn well deserved a break.

Of course, he couldn't even get his husband all to himself right away. Thorin had to greet people and discuss the results and see and be seen, and even though they were supposed to have dinner together, even that got pushed later than usual. Even so, Bilbo was so desperate for a nice dinner with his husband that he only fed Tammi, leaving his own food for later.

Okay, so perhaps he nibbled just a little. It wasn't like he was going to ruin his appetite, if such a thing was even possible for a hobbit.

At last Thorin appeared in their rooms, looking just about as worn and tired as Bilbo felt. His face brightened as he saw Bilbo, though, no doubt feeling just as elated about their reunion as Bilbo did. They had only seen each other briefly earlier in the day, barely able to exchange a couple of words. Thorin certainly made up for it now, striding towards Bilbo and drawing him into a fierce embrace that actually lifted Bilbo off his feet.

"Well, I suppose that means you're happy to see me." Bilbo grinned as he was set back down on his feet, but stayed close to Thorin's chest. "I don't suppose there's any chance we could get a couple of days off?"

Thorin chuckled. "I'm afraid not. But I'm thinking we might actually manage that next week, if I can sort out the new trade customs with Balin and take care of the wrap-up of the guild hall renovations."

"Oh, that would be wonderful." Bilbo stole a quick kiss before leading Thorin to the table. He had just taken the food off the little stove he had used to keep it warm, and the food smelled delicious. "Be prepared to wake up very early, by the way. Tammi has decided she doesn't like sleeping in at all, and she'll no doubt throw a fit when she sees you are actually back."

"Seeing her will be a worthy trade for a few hours of sleep." Thorin smiled happily. "I have rather missed my little princess. And you, of course," he added then, and Bilbo couldn't really even be mad at the idea of being the afterthought in that statement. "How has she been, then? Not too cranky, I hope? You don't seem like you have gotten much sleep lately."

"It's no fault of hers, really." Bilbo sighed. "It's just, not long after you left, she actually said her first word — Papa, as it happens, now don't look like that, I'm sure we can teach her to say Adad soon enough. And, well, due to dwarven superstitions, that meant nobody would help me with her at all. Tauriel was a great help when she had the time, but other than her I only barely managed to convince a few of the Company to even come near her."

"Ah, right, that old superstition." Thorin frowned, now. "That is certainly unfortunate. I'm sorry that you ended in such a difficult position due to some old nonsense."

"Oh?" Bilbo blinked. Thorin was usually quite fond of various traditions, for all that he wasn't the most superstitious dwarf Bilbo had ever met. He certainly had put some weight on Óin's omens, at least. "I would have thought you to share their ideas."

"Well, I know they only meant well, but really, I would have thought Dís at least would have remembered the rather easy counter to that." Thorin finally tucked into his food, seeming so ravenous Bilbo almost wondered if he'd been fed at all in the Iron Hills. Though then, there had been several days of road rations between then and Erebor, and if he knew his husband at all Thorin would not have demanded any better portions than any of those who travelled with him. "If you just say the missing parent's name three times before you pick up the child, that's enough to make sure no bad luck follows."

At that point, Bilbo decided he was quite done with dwarves. Ridiculous creatures, the whole lot of them.

And yet he couldn't help but love them all so very, very much.


End file.
